NOTE: THE HOTLINE IS NOT CURRENTLY ACTIVE

Mike imparts info, but can’t return any calls. Messages left have to be one word only. A five second pause counts as that word. When choosing that word, eliminate song titles, venue locations, favorites of any kind, compliments, insults. The word can’t have a K in it. If you’ve left messages before, your new word can only have four letters max. Do not pause after leaving the word. Do not speak the word slowly or quickly. If you call and the mailbox is full, call back in 20 minutes and then again at 20 minute intervals until you’ve reached the twentieth 20 minute interval. At that point increase the interval time to 25 minutes until to you get through. If you call and the line is busy, Call back every 2 minutes until you’ve called 40 times, and then increase the interval to 3 minutes until you get through. A “d” in the third letter spot of your word signifies that you use vinyl to play music and you also use a record cleaning ointment. Your word can’t contain digits, punctuation, any kind of inflection, slang, an exclamator. Any words with four or more syllables count as three words, and are thus disqualified. If this was a contest you may have won by now. Don’t use the word as a way of introducing yourself, though I’m sure Mike'd be glad to meet you. Don’t seem excited or bored. The word must be in regular English or international sign language. The word can’t be a spell you are casting on Mike. Also, don’t try using ESP while speaking the word